Dragging my sadness around on the floor
Is it even possible to hurt any more?
I wake up and wonder what the hell for?
Just to ponder where you'd be?
Lost in the memory.
I've forgotten your laugh, but not your smile
The humour that left me doubled over, tears staining my cheeks, but they're not from laughter anymore.
Staring at your face
I wonder am I going insane?
Everything looks the same but it's a different time and place.
Count the freckles on your face
The way you say my name
Electricity shoots through me, as my eyes hold your gaze.
Shit, what do I do now?
You said something, I'm sure
Eyes searching my face for a response
But I'm too wrapped up in my own thoughts to realise.
Once you were everything.
Now we're basically strangers again
But I don't want it to stay that way.
Dragging my sadness around on the floor
Is it even possible to hurt any more?
I wake up and wonder what the hell for?
Just to ponder where you'd be?
Lost in the memory.
I've forgotten your laugh, but not your smile
The humour that left me doubled over, tears staining my cheeks, but they're not from laughter anymore.
Staring at your face
I wonder am I going insane?
Everything looks the same but it's a different time and place.
Count the freckles on your face
The way you say my name
Electricity shoots through me, as my eyes hold your gaze.
Shit, what do I do now?
You said something, I'm sure
Eyes searching my face for a response
But I'm too wrapped up in my own thoughts to realise.
Once you were everything.
Now we're basically strangers again
But I don't want it to stay that way.
Autumnal leaves crunch under my feet
The trees a perfect spot to reflect, to hide
I'm not sure what I'm hiding from
The world? Myself? Everything and nothing
But here is safe. Here is calm
I need calm right now
I need safety
But will I ever find it?
Am I condemned to uncertainty?
Where do i fit?
Where do i want to fit?
The world is spinning
Or maybe it's just my head
Just me
Little fuck up me
I want normalcy
What's normal?
Whatever it is, I'm not it
I look at my surroundings
Trees, dirt, leaves, colours
Reds and browns and oranges
All blended together
I can't distinguish one from the other
Just like my thoughts
All rolled up into one
Gl
Existing at the mouth of obscurity;
disoriented and misplaced by your
fickle exploitation as prevailing gales
usher my liberation and acknowledge me
as a woman redeemed from ashes.
I battled for every inch gained beyond
your insolence; no longer a forgiving hostage
of perpetual manipulation. Renewing a life
in the midst of immoral confinement, to save
a mind now flawed as it counters your hysteria.
At last, you have departed my punished
subconsciousness, leaving behind a marred
courage, eternally revived. The domination
that annihilated my faith has ignited a
persistence unrivaled by your miserable life.
I can't sleep
I am weak
Haunted by all the memories
Repeated before me
That she loved me,
Once,
A long time ago
That i let her in,
I let her know
All the pain buried deep within my soul
Then she took that soul
Held close to her
And ripped a part for her to keep
I just wanted to let people know that I might be a bit slow with my writing for the next while. I just started college part time so will be a bit slow until I adjust. Thankfully it's only part time so I should be able to get some content out. I haven't been writing as much recently so I'm trying to push myself bit more.
So nobody on here knows this but I have a youtube channel. Before I started writing poetry I was a theatre kid, I love singing. I'm having a crap day so I decided to sing a song.
I know most people won't be interested but If you are you're welcome to take a look. I don't sing much anymore because my hearing loss has had an effect on my singing but I figured what the heck I'm gonna enjoy myself.
Here it is if you would like to check it out.
https://youtu.be/XYLZhpfd0e0
For anyone who didn't see my poem and just an explanation. I changed my name because I fall somewhere under the trans* umbrella. I started living as myself in august last year but I've known for a while.
I now go by the name Calvin.
This is just a quick post clarifying everything as I haven't done that yet. I now go by he/him pronouns but they/them is fine also.